A Do Over

By Aaron Benzel

Remember when you were a kid playing a game with your friends and if you screwed up you could call out “Do Over!” and get a second chance? Hopefully, at that point you knew what you did wrong so you could fix it on your next try. Sadly, life doesn’t normally give you a do over, but every once in a while it does.

As a kid I found that my weight was a part of my life where I had very little control. Things didn’t get any better after I grew up. As the years went by my weight slowly got worse until it eventually got as high as 395 pounds. I can’t claim some medical reason for my massive weight. The painful truth is that I simply love to eat. My need for food was the most powerful force in my world. It was greater than my dignity, my relationships and even my life.

At a weight nearing 400 pounds, my addiction to food was extremely destructive. Sleep apnea, joint pain, fatigue and depression all topped a long list of physical issues I battled daily. The emotional devastation of being morbidly obese is so damaging I am unable to convey the pain in this article. Unlike other addictions, when you struggle with your weight it is visible to everyone.

On December 14, 2005, God answered my prayers. He gave me a “do over.” That morning I had gastric bypass surgery. Although my prayers were being answered, it was one of the hardest times in my life. Knowing that I could no longer eat the way I had filled me with fear. Food was not only my worst enemy, but also my best friend. I also felt like I had failed. I wanted to be able to say that I had overcome this problem myself. I now realize that God will often provide us problems that we can’t solve so that he can.

After the surgery, I began to rebuild my life through a healthier relationship with food. It has been hard learning to live this whole new way. I knew a number of people that had weight loss surgery before me and were unable to keep the weight off. Because of this, I decided that I would have to be diligent in my diet and exercise. With God’s grace, I have not only been able to take the weight off, but I have also been able to maintain the loss. I currently weigh 187 pounds. That’s more than 50 percent of who I was. It’s hard for me to believe and I’m the one who lived it.

I have started running since I lost weight. It is one of the greatest gifts that my weight loss has afforded me. In 2008, I ran the Chevron Houston Marathon, my first marathon. At that point, I weighed 195 pounds. When I crossed the finish line that day no one there knew of the massive change that had occurred to get me to that point. I just looked like everyone else. I finally looked like everyone else. Thanks, God, for the do over.

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